KC: *in her best Poltergeist voice* They're here...

Duo: Ghosts?

Heero: Zoinks!

All: O.o

Wufei: Why do I have to be the one to face them?

Treize: You're the sorcerer, of course. *gets behind him* And because they're scary.

Quatre: But me and Trowa got to dance a bit!

Trowa: Hm...my pocket feels empty...

KC: Mm, I'll explain that with the next chapter.

Duo: At least me an' Heero aren't gonna be in there!

KC: Oh yeah...

Heero: Now you've done it...

KC: Well, let's get this started...nobody wants to hear me blather...

Wufei: So true...

*

Wufei leaned over his circle, careful not to set his hands down on the surface encircled by the white wax, and held one hand over the bloody daggers. Sitting on the bench across the dungeon, Noin and Zechs both gasped as flames poured from the sorcerer's fingers, igniting the blood on the blades. While the messy things melted into hideous red and gray lumps of ash, Wufei sat back again and raised his hands up as if he was trying to warm himself. He closed his eyes and lowered his head.

Only after a few minutes did Noin realize Wufei wasn't silent. "What's he saying?" she whispered. "I can't hear him."

Treize leaned over towards her. "He's reciting the spell, but he does it in Chinese. Says the flow of our language is all wrong for it."

"Or he hasn't translated it yet?" Zechs smiled.

Treize sighed. "Exactly, but don't tell him that."

"I still think you coddle him."

"And you wouldn't coddle someone who could turn you into duck dinner?"

"Gua feng," the chanting voice caught their attention again. The air in the dungeon began to circulate in wild circles, throwing Zechs' hair up into his face and over his mask. Noin giggled, and even polite Treize snickered.

"He did that on purpose," Zechs grumbled.

Treize rolled his eyes.

All around them, invisible little dust devils caught strands of hay and twirled them up while the manacles clanged softly against the stone walls. It momentarily rustled the clothing of the dead, breathing false motion into them before leaving and whistling through the bars instead.

Without warning, the candles in the circle flared up into bright columns of blue and purple flames without consuming the miniscule wicks. The torches on the wall burst just as bright, creating a contrasting glow of orange and hellish red. For all the light, or perhaps because of it, the far corners and even the nearby crevices and cells lay covered in shadows too deep to see into.

Noin glanced at her commanding officer. "Treize..."

"I...it's all right," he whispered back, but he didn't sound so sure.

And as quickly as the lights went up...they fizzled, guttered and died.

Half a minute later, their eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, and they noticed a tiny glittering not too far away. White light, very faint, sparkled from the charcoal writing around the circle. It reflected off of Wufei's eyes, but that was hard to tell since his pupils had vanished, leaving his eyes pure white with no veins. Half awake and half dreaming, he lowered his hands and stared straight into the fire, which had turned black. The only evidence of it in the darkness were the waves of heat rising up and obscuring the light from the other side.

"Come," he said without inflection, using his adopted language again. "Across the desert...through gates of horn...from the sunless lands..."

Noin practically jumped into Zechs' lap as two plumes of mist rose up out of the daggers, waving in the heat. Wisps of their incorporeal forms rose and vanished like steam, but the smoke revealed vague features of the bodies on the floor.

"Name yourselves," Wufei ordered.

"Alex," one replied.

"Mueller."

Their voices weren't so much voices as they were brushes on the skin and made known by sheer will. Zechs slipped his mask off and lay it on the ground, then lay his head on Noin's, eager to get closer to her reassuring touch.

"What is Oz?"

"The organization of our master."

"What does it do?"

"What the master wishes."

"What are its purposes?"

"Those of our master's."

"What are the purposes of your master?"

Treize groaned inwardly. It's like pulling teeth...

"To take this kingdom, and another, and another. And to take the Chinese sorcerer."

Treize sat up. So the first attack was a challenge after all...

"How?"

"Through Oz."

"How will Oz fulfill the master's goals and purposes?"

"Through deceit and secrecy and blatant violence. False guards will strike as the meteor falls and return the unclean protection to the dying dragons."

"What?" Treize wondered.

"Riddles," Zechs said. "They're talking in riddles."

"But how do we figure out what they mean?" Noin asked.

"What meteor will fall?" Wufei asked, not hearing them.

"A bloody hammer of light."

"Who will drop the hammer?"

"The family of hearts."

Even in his dream state, Wufei growled in frustration. "Who is your master?"

"The tiger."

"His name?"

"O."

"O?" Zechs repeated.

The ghost named Alex shrieked at the top of its effervescent voice and shattered everything iron, manacles and bars alike, while the second one cried "O!" Out of the flames of the inner circle came an orange loop that spread into an irregular shape within the first white wax and settled around the daggers. The ghosts seemed sucked down into the burning blood and vanished.

Wufei's head snapped back as if he'd been struck, and he fell backwards onto his hay cushion, unconscious. Nataku gave a little cry and stumbled, missing the brunt of the attack but stunned nonetheless. His circle's light fluctuated as if it struggled to stay lit by itself while the shape inside tried to expand and force its way through. From the other side of the dungeon came two weak and inhuman groans.

"Draw your swords," Treize commanded. "I have a bad feeling about this." While he ran to Wufei's side, Zechs and Noin drew and stood in front of them, not daring to advance until they saw their enemy.

"There's no room to fight in here," Zechs complained.

Treize nodded. "I know." He's still breathing...and the magick's still running... He looked up at the little mirror that was supposed to hang at all times on the wall, but to his dismay he saw it had cracked, likely in the ghost's shriek. "Dammit, Heero, I hope you try to look in on us soon." Making a fast decision, he moved to the door. He glanced back at Zechs and Noin, and, when he saw their firm nods, locked the door.

*

Duo smiled proudly at his handiwork. The entire table lay covered in silk packages, wallets, tiny purses, velvet pouches and small hard cases. "This is definitely my best haul ever! I can't believe I pulled this off!"

Heero stared in wide-eyed wonder at the pile. "Neither can I. Where did you put it all?"

Duo smirked and leaned against his shoulder, ignoring the looks from the two Maganac guards. "Oh, Midii gave me a bunch of pockets..."

"Even so..." Heero put his hands on Duo's shoulders and physically turned him around, searching for hidden recesses. "I know you can hide things in there, but the clothing isn't that loose."

"Look," Duo laughed, lifting the shirt a few inches. "I've got wire hems, see? The same around the legs, just above the knee. I just had to drop stuff in and it'd be caught."

"But when you were on the street you didn't have these kinds of clothing," Heero insisted. "How did you manage then?"

Curious little thing, ain't he? Duo thought to himself. "Lots of rags, Heero. If I couldn't carry 'em, I'd just hide a bag on me and use that. Unless I'd forget to bring it with me, then I'd have to carry it all...only did that once, though."

As his slave's voice drifted and his gaze slipped to the floor, Heero put one hand under his chin and tilted his face back up. "Duo...I know it hurts you. But you have to tell me who they were. I want to find them and have them executed."

Duo took a step closer but shook his head. "I can't. I...never saw their faces. I heard them...I'd know their voices again, I'm sure of it...I just know they were guards that weren't guards."

"Oz," Heero nodded. "Once we've rounded up the lot of them, we'll find those two, I promise."

Duo smiled sadly at him. "But...you don't even know who they are."

"If we're lucky, we'll find out tonight, through the things you and Dorothy have taken."

Duo abruptly frowned when he heard her name, but he didn't say anything. He only put his arms around Heero and held him close. Heero, not understanding, awkwardly returned the embrace. "Duo?"

"So," Duo said, trying to keep his voice steady, "when's the wedding?"

Heero frowned. "Wedding?"

"Between you and Relena."

"Where did you hear--?"

"I heard some of the dancers talking," Duo sniffled. "It's okay, I mean, I'm just a slave anyway, and you've gotta have someone after you...to be prince, I mean...and...and..."

He felt Heero's shoulder jerk beneath him, and he backed up in confusion that turned to astonishment as he realized Heero was laughing. "Heero?"

Heero's smile was an unnerving sight, to say the least, but accompanied by the soft brush of his fingertips on Duo's cheek, it left Duo with a warm sensation over his entire body and made his mind dizzy. "No, Duo. There won't be any marriage. We have only formed an alliance."

"Oh...but they said..."

"They were wrong." Heero kissed him and took his braid into his hand, stroking it. "Duo, do you think I'm J's son?"

"You aren't?"

"I don't know who my parents were, but it wasn't J. Trowa is only my adoptive brother, but no one else knows it but us, and now you. When I need to choose an heir, I will select one that Quatre or Wufei predicts as having luck and skill as birthrights. Choosing by heredity is too reckless."

Duo tried to hide his sigh of relief, but it came through anyway. Waves of exhilaration coursed through him like little cold streams in his veins and he grinned, almost giving in to his urge to dance in happy circles. Several things suddenly fell from the table and Duo jumped, startled even though he was a few feet away.

"Whoops, sorry about that," he smiled sheepishly. He bent and scooped them up, dumping them back on the table. "Well, let's start opening them!"

Heero put his hand on Duo's, preventing him from picking one up. "No, we need Wufei first. He has to make sure these aren't spelled against thieves."

Duo cocked his head to one side. "Huh?"

"Only the wealthy have them, so I doubt you've ever run into a ward like that," Heero explained. "Let me see if they're done downstairs." He went to his round mirror and stared into it. "Dungeon," he said firmly.

His reflection wavered, as if in intense heat, and went all black before showing him the library again. He blinked. "That's never...not before...Dungeon." This time it showed a glittery kaleidoscope of his own reflection before solidifying again. "Damn. Something's wrong." He turned, about to leave Duo there, but decided against it. "Duo, come with me." He looked up at the two guards. "Can you signal your comrades outside?"

One of the Maganacs nodded and took a step forward. "Yes, your highness."

"Tell them to stand on alert. It may be nothing, but I won't take chances."

The second one took a candle from the three on the table beside him and held it up in the dark window. From below came a call in Arabic, and then the scraping of metal as thirty six swords were pulled from their scabbards.

"Do you require our assistance?" the first guard asked.

Heero considered. "No, stay here and protect these. Dorothy may come in here later with more items, let her know to stay on her guard. We're going to the dungeon." He took Duo's hand and pulled him after, leaving the Maganacs to shut and lock the door.

"Don't I get a knife or something?" Duo asked, struggling to keep up with Heero's rapid sprint. His slave shoes just weren't built for that kind of speed.

"No," Heero answered. They ran down the halls past other guests who didn't see their faces long enough to identify them. "I don't have a knife and there's no time to stop at the armory."

They breezed by another couple, one in black and one in pink. The taller one turned and immediately followed after, bringing his companion with him.

After only a minute Heero came to the long hall that led to the dungeon. He turned to Duo to tell him something but spotted the pair behind them. Drawing his sword, he dropped into a fighting stance. "Who are you?" he demanded.

Trowa whipped off his mask, tucking it in a pocket. "Just me and Quatre. What's wrong?"

"I can't see into the dungeon," Heero answered. "The mirror's broken. Are you armed?"

"Of course."

Heero nodded and turned to his slave. "You stay here. Don't leave the hall, but don't come any closer, either. If you hear anything...run."

"I--yes, Heero." Duo bit his lower lip, his heart beginning to race out of more than physical exertion.

"Quatre, stay here with Duo," Trowa said, removing his cape and putting it around his lover's shoulders. "I'll be back soon."

Quatre nodded obediently, lowering his mask for a quick kiss. He watched the two brothers dash down the dark hall, stirring up dust as they went, and with a sigh he settled down on the floor. Duo tried to watch them, but he noticed that the floor somehow warped downward, blocking them from sight even though they didn't go far. He sat silently next to Quatre, trembling until he felt a relatively light arm drape over his shoulders. He allowed the blonde to pull him close, but his shaking didn't lessen.

"It's all right," Quatre tried to reassure him. "They'll be back. They can stop anything."

Duo didn't look up. "You really think so?"

Quatre smiled. "Of course."

Duo glanced back down the hall. With a sinking feeling he realized that if they didn't, there was no place to run and hide.

*

"Wufei!" Treize whispered fiercely. He gathered his lover's body into his arms and gave him a small shake, afraid he might hurt him. "Wufei, wake up!"

Groaning and shuffling from the darkness made Zechs and Noin step closer. "Get that kid up, Treize," Zechs rushed him. "Or else we're all going to have problems." He grabbed his mask from the floor and slipped it back on.

I'm sorry, my love, but there's no time to be gentle. Treize took a deep breath, raised his hand and, hoping he wouldn't be transformed into something helpless, slapped Wufei once. "Wufei, wake up!"

"Mi lu," Wufei muttered, rising out of his sleep. "Jing zi." He opened his eyes, complete with pupils again, and sat up, holding his head in one hand.

"Wufei, what happened?" Treize asked, eyeing the glowing circle and orange lines warily.

Another shriek came from the dungeon, making all of them pay attention. From deep within the shadows, bringing with it a metallic sound, two dark forms limped forward, dragging bloody limbs over broken bars and manacles. The mangled, twisted bodies of the two assassins slowly stepped towards the living, steam rising from their boots as their skin and blood touched iron. Their bodies didn't bleed so much now, however, since most of their blood now pooled in their extremities, leaving them gray in some places, red in others.

"How on earth...?" Zechs gasped.

"Don't freeze up," Noin said through clenched teeth, but it wasn't clear if she meant that for her husband or herself. "Don't panic."

"Wufei, what happened? Can you stop this?"

"Wo bu...zhi dao," Wufei mumbled, wincing as if he was in pain. "Wo bu...zhi dao." He repeated it over and over until Treize gave him another shake.

"Wufei, look at me," Treize said. He locked eyes with his sorcerer and lay his hand on his cheek, trying to calm him down. "Something's happened, and you have to stop it."

"An-another spell," Wufei stumbled his words. "Their blood must have been--been enchanted. This was a trap. They were meant to die."

"Sacrifices?" Zechs wondered, taking a step back.

"Necromancy," Wufei confirmed. He sat up and looked over his circle, staring at the orange light inside. "I've seen this shape before."

"Can you close it?"

"If it were just my circle, yes, but then I would leave us vulnerable to that spell held inside. I'll have to change the marks...the wax just barely held it in. Can you keep those things busy?"

"How did I know you were going to ask that?" Noin muttered.

"Just work fast," Treize said.

Wufei nodded and picked up the charcoal. Where he wrote, the lines immediately glowed, and what he erased merely turned to smears. "Nataku...I need the new letters--" he broke off as he looked back down. His dragon lay on the ground, neck stretched out with her eyes closed. He stroked her back, and she gave him a small whimper.

The blast, it must have hit her just as hard. "It's all right," he told her. "Just relax. I'll handle this." But if I can't reverse the gate...if only I could--"No, I will need you, Nataku."

"Hurry up!" Zechs yelled. He slashed hard at the first body, but it acted as if it didn't even feel the gaping wound in its chest. Noin cut off the arm of the corpse before her, sending a spray of corrupting flesh and bone against the wall, but the thing just came forward while the hand twitched on the floor.

*ch'rp*

"I know you're tired," Wufei apologized, picking her up, "but if you don't do this, believe me, you're not going to get any sleep." He moved her around and lay her at another point of the circle, lining her snout up with the largest symbol.

"What're you doing?" Treize asked, sparing a moment to stare at Wufei.

"Something insane," the sorcerer answered. "It's a transport spell, I'm sure of it, but it's automatic. If I can just...make...contact..."

"Can you turn it off?"

Wufei lay his hands on Nataku's wings. "Not from this side." He leaned down closer. "Come on, just one breath of fire. Just one."

She gave a little puff of smoke and whined piteously.

Wufei looked back up at the battle. Zechs and Noin were fully engaged in trying to keep the corpses back, but...something was happening.

The head on the larger corpse fell backwards, sliding down its back with sick, wet sounds as the gash on its chest bubbled and pushed more flesh outward to form a face without eyes. The other body shrunk as a new arm grew from the putrid stump, dripping body tissue.

Noin gagged and leaned back, expecting her enemy to continue at the slow pace. Instead the one closest darted in suddenly, slamming into her and sending her flying across the room. Zechs stabbed his sword deep into his target, then turned, afraid of what he'd see. Instead the still standing corpse knocked him to the ground so hard his mask cracked. Taking a deep breath, Treize brought his sword up and moved to cover Zechs.

He can't do anything with that thin blade, Wufei realized. Without another thought he yanked hard on Nataku's tail. She screeched and sent out a jet of fire so hot the wax vaporized. The flames connected the two rings of magick, and in that instant, Wufei reached into the circle and slammed his hand on the burning daggers and blood. The black flames melted into his hand and vanished, leaving a red sear on his skin.

Along the wall, every torch flared back to life with natural orange flames. Wufei drew back from the heat, clutching his hand close to his chest, and snatched his dragon closer. The remaining wax, the candles, and the orange light exploded, leaving no trace of even the coal smears on the dusty dungeon floor.

"Did it," Wufei whispered.

"Wufei!"

Afraid to look, he did.

He'd cut the strings, but the puppets were still moving.

Something heavy hit the door, then hit again and once more before Wufei raised his hand and threw the bolt aside. At that moment, the door burst open and two figures charged in. Heero spotted the animated bodies and brought his sword up before he knew he was moving. Trowa dashed behind them, leaping over one extended arm. His long dagger sliced it off, but the flesh immediately acted to replace it, drawing from the stomach and leaving a gaping hole there.

"What on earth?"

"It was...a trap," Treize said between heavy breaths. He dodged to the right, barely escaping a powerful blow to his head. "Wufei destroyed the spell, but these things are still moving!"

"I can see that," Heero replied. He ran forward, rolling under a punch that broke a chunk of stone from the wall, and took off the body's legs from the knees down. The body fell backwards with more weight than it should have had, but it only rolled on its front and moved around on all fours.

"Aim for the head!" Trowa yelled, slicing off his target's head while Treize sliced it in half.

Instead of it falling, however, the cut sealed up while the eyes and mouth reappeared on the gray stump of the neck. It caught Trowa's arm and swung him backwards into Treize, sending both of them next to Noin. Zechs threw his mask aside, unable to see from it anymore. With his sword gone he flung handfuls of iron at the pair.

Screaming in pain, the automatisms shied away as their skin burned, bringing forth an awful scent that sickened every living thing in the room. One of them noticed the open door and ran through it, followed quickly by the other. As what had once been Alex passed by Heero, it knocked him aside, sending him reeling into a pile of iron.

"Oh no," Heero breathed, trying to stand. "Duo!"

Down the hall, the two slaves leaned closer together as they felt the floor rumble and heard heavy steps running towards them. Quatre started to stand, but the sound was coming too fast and he knew it. Dust drifted from the ceiling as cracks appeared, created by the shaking.

"Guards..." Quatre tried to squeak, but it only came out in a shattered whisper.

Duo shook his head, trying to think past the rising fear. "We can't risk calling the guards..."

"No, Duo." Quatre couldn't tear his gaze from the things now in sight. "They were guards."

Duo followed his look and froze. "Oh my God, what are those things?"

Bloody and mangled, those things stopped when they heard him. The one on all fours tilted curiously, but the one without a head leaned forward so its eyes could see. "Pr'tty..." it gurgled.

Duo tightened his grip on Quatre. "That voice..."

"Lit'le th'eff," the other answered through its stomach. "Apple th'eff."

For a few seconds, nothing happened. The corpses regarded only the slave in black, staring with sagging, watery eyes. Duo and Quatre held perfectly still, not breathing, afraid the slightest motion might set the monsters off. Duo let out a small breath, and the bodies took a step forward.

*thump*

"Duo, be quiet," Quatre whispered.

*thump*thump*

Duo shut his eyes, but his body started trembling. The movement seemed to be a cue for the former assassins to come closer. "It's them," he said loudly.

*thump*thump*

"Duo...stop."

"It's them...why?"

*thump*thump*

"We're going to have to run for it," Quatre said even though he knew it was a hopeless thought.

"I can't even remember a prayer." Why can't I remember?

*thump*thump*

Quatre tried to pick Duo up, but the other boy wouldn't move. When the blonde slave looked up again, the monsters were only a few feet away. He could see every severed vein, every torn muscle, every bone warped within the dead skin. He pulled the cloak around his shoulders and lowered his eyes.

"Duo!" Heero screamed from the other end of the hall.

Duo opened his eyes not an inch from the mess of corruption and screamed.

Two red blurs passed Heero, who was blown backwards by the sheer force of power coming from the other end of the hall. He landed flat on his black pants and turned to see the two dead bodies embedded in the wall on either side of the door. Inside the doorway stood Zechs, whom Heero figured must have been the first to recover, only now his uniform was a mess of gray matter and pink coloring. Heero grabbed the only torch in the hall and pushed it against the nearest body, eliciting another scream as it thrashed its barely connected pieces. He tossed the torch on the other body, and after a moment all that remained were piles of coagulated blood and burnt bone.

"Heero!"

The prince ran back to the pair on the floor, falling to his knees and putting his arms protectively around his slave. "Are you all right? Did they reach you?"

Duo shook his head, but he kept his face firmly buried in Heero's shirt. His shoulders started to shake and low muffled sobs echoed down the empty corridor.

"He didn't even touch them," Quatre murmured. "He just screamed."

"What happened?"

"They went backwards so fast...it all happened so fast."

"Little one?" Trowa asked, startling them. He knelt beside Quatre and allowed him to crawl up into his arms. "Are you hurt?"

"No," he answered. He tried for a weak smile and succeeded. "But it's a good thing I went to the bathroom earlier..."

Trowa chuckled and stroked the blonde's hair. "Agreed."

Boots tapped on the tile, and Heero spared a moment to see Treize carrying Wufei in his arms. The sorcerer hung limply, one arm over Treize's shoulder while his head lay against his chest, breathing shallow. The small dragon lay nestled on Treize's other shoulder, her tail curled around his throat. "I know we have more work," he groaned, letting his polite veneer slip away in his exhaustion, "but may we put our slaves to bed first?"

"Good idea--" Trowa started, but Quatre threw his arms around his neck and clutched him tight.

"No, Trowa, please! Let me come, I'll be quiet! I promise."

Duo backed away a few inches, tears still streaming down his face. "Heero...let me stay with you, please. I don't want to be alone."

Heero hesitated, then nodded and swept his crying slave up into his arms. "All right, they can rest on the chairs there. And I still need Wufei to lift any protection spells on Duo's work."

For a second, Treize actually considered protesting the prince's commands, but as he opened his mouth, Wufei stirred in his hands.

"It's all right," he mumbled. "I can do that. But afterwards, I think I'll pass out."

Treize nodded and looked at his two officers. Noin limped up to Zechs, who had given up trying to wipe the mess from his clothes. Noin noticed Treize's glance and glared back. The mask of military discipline disappeared in light of exhaustion and ill humor. "What else?" she griped, knowing there'd be something.

"Find someone to clean that up," Treize said. "And go to bed. That's all."

She gave him a half-smile. "Okay. Right away, sir."

Trowa moved to ask Quatre if he didn't mind being picked up, and to his satisfaction he found that his slave had fallen asleep on his arm. He wrapped the blanket around Quatre before cradling him like a child and carrying him after Treize and Heero.

Left behind, the two officers stared at the splatters on the walls, floor and ceiling. "Let's get that batch of troops we were yelling at earlier," Noin sighed. "They can clean this up." She stared at her husband and grinned despite her weary body. "How do you feel?"

He quietly reached up, plucked a bit of corpse from his hair, and sighed.

"I should have kept the mask on."

*

1. Gua feng means "wind blow," or so I got from an English/Chinese dictionary.

2. Mi lu means "to become lost"

3. Jing Zi means "mirror"

4. Wo bu zhi dao, although I'm sure I've broken the words up incorrectly, means "I don't know."

5. Hm, the Lord's Prayer seems a bit anachronistic for this...let's just say in this alternate universe, Christianity picked up a bit earlier.

*

KC: Well, that was the action, next comes the explanation scene and we get to see what Duo and Dorothy grabbed. *now I actually have to come up with something. Any suggestions?*

Quatre: But...the names from the short section a few chapters ago! Troibeque, and Freirs? What do they mean?

Heero: I think I know.

Quatre: Huh?

Trowa: Put them together with the two from this chapter.

Wufei: Alex...Troibeque...? Freirs Mueller...?

KC: *whistles innocently*

Wufei: Of Jeopardy and Ferris Buller's Day Off!

Duo: That is such a lame joke...

KC: Aw, come on, I didn't have full names, so I just added those...

Treize: You know, a bad fic is one thing, but bad jokes...

KC: Look, I'm tired, I'm in two awful classes, and I'm perpetually sleepy. Don't mess with me right now.

Treize: I'm just saying--

KC: Hiyaa! *smacks Treize, his hair turns blue*

Treize: Ack!

Duo: Ha ha, she got you!

Heero: Like your hair isn't pink right now?

Duo: Shh!

KC: Next person to tick me off gets bright green hair, got it?

All: *nod*nod*nod*

Quatre: There are bathrooms in the palace? How come we haven't seen 'em?

KC: Umm...let's see, I don't wanna deal with the messiness of old bathrooms and I didn't wanna touch the chamberpot idea with a ten foot pole.

Duo: What's wrong with old palace bathrooms?

KC: You've never seen 'em? I was on this tour of a castle in Europe while we were stationed in Germany. The toilets were actually little stone closets with a hole in the bench that extended over balconies, patios and the moat. So if you standing underneath the seat on a patio at the wrong moment...

All: Eww...

KC: Plus, they used to just fling the contents of chamber pots out the window...

All: Double eww...

KC: Yup. Nothing like high velocity crap arcing majestically in the air.

Heero: That's a hell of a note to end this chapter on.

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